...to Brussels in love

I love to travel to new places. I also love my kids and want more. Dilemma? Traveling with kids is not only expensive, it is a whole different kind of adventure than the days of traveling pre-parenthood. Remember those? Waking up when you felt like it, to quietness; eating your meals, without interruption; going on a walk, without a stroller, ergo and a years' supply of diapers and wipes; getting a room you don't have to share. So, you'll understand why, every once in awhile, it's nice to get away.

me, happy, with my flea market finds: gorgeous hat and €3 cowboy boots.

And that is why we were so blessed to have Ben's parents take us to Brussels...sans children. My mom so graciously (and capably, might I add) watched my kids while we went away for four blissful days. What was I most looking forward to, apart from the obvious time away with my hubby, you might ask. I will state it simply: belgian waffles. I love them. Growing up, my mom would make strawberry waffles on Saturday mornings and for as long as I can remember they've been mine and my dad's favorite. In Brussels, they have many options for your waffles: plain (not really plain-sugarydelicious!) nutella (also amazing,) strawberries, chocolate, bananas, whipped cream, or any combination of those. Day 1 I got one with strawberries & whipped cream (what I had growing up.) It was ok, but I thought my mom did it better. Day 2 I had it with nutella. yum. Day 3 just plain...perfection. Here's the display. is your mouth watering? Funniest, most satirical part: they give you these chinsy forks to attempt to eat your messy delicacy. Makes you feel like a 2 year old. Then you realize why plain is the way to go: no mess, no cheap fork.

My other favorite food to eat was their chicken shawarma durum. It's a Turkish wrap with very thinly sliced moist chicken, lettuce, garlic mayo, carrots, and purple cabbage. It is honestly SO. GOOD. I think I ate one of these every day as well. When you find what you love, why waste your calories elsewhere? ;) Ben found a local hotspot for mussels. His traveling theory is to eat what the place is known for, so moules frites it was. And Dave and Kimi love salami & cheese, so they found some of the best salami and cheese Brussels had to offer. 

 One thing Ben and I love most about a little time away from our little chickens is a quiet morning. for me it is accompanied with a cup of tea, pastry and devotions...the only unfortunate part is that this particular cup of tea was just shy of nasty. They have a type of milk you don't refrigerate, so whatever they do to make it that way gives it a weird flavor. But, you will not find me complaining one bit about my lovely morning ;)

the flea market was the highlight of the trip for me...got some unmatched finds I was delighted with

the architecture was incredible in this square. and the people watching wasn't too shabby either.

top right: my amazing in-laws

Ben's happy place

our room's view was lovely...and noisy ;)

this building blew.my.mind. it was the biggest thing I'd ever seen and so ornate. breathtaking.

lady and the tramp reenactment

 Ben has been saying for a long time that he wanted to take me on a getaway without kids and when I'm not pregnant...so there you have it! We had a great time together and enjoyed each other immensely. Being away from our kids brings a great, healthy realization that I love the stage of life I'm in right now and I don't want to wish ahead or wish behind. I love that my family life is all-consuming. That my kids suck every last drop out of me. That I wake up changing poopy diapers and go to bed cleaning messy rooms. That every day I pray I don't lose it and that I can show them the love they need. That I depend on the grace of God with each breath of each day. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Eden is 1...

Remembering back to Thanksgiving of 2011 and two faintly positive pregnancy tests makes it hard to believe I already went through that pregnancy, delivered Eden, and am now mother to a beautiful one year old little girl. During the pregnancy, I was just sure that I was going to have another boy...after all, why would God give us a girl on the eve of the biggest transition of our lives together? We knew we wanted to have one more baby before we moved to Ireland, so we were grateful God granted us that desire. When I found out we were having a girl, I was shocked. But God, I know how to do boys, I already have all the boy stuff I need, and if I have a girl it will all be so different and I won't be able to do [the cutest] baby girl's room. (so petty, right?!) However, God, in His sovereignty, gave us beautiful Eden Glory and we can't imagine life without her! At about 8 months pregnant I was finally able to embrace the idea of having a little girl and excitement flooded my heart. I nested, to the best of my ability (as we were living with other people at the time.) I made a carseat cover (instead of a crib bumper set,) quilt, blankets, accessories, and went crazy with some onesie dying and embellishing. God knew I needed to purge and not hold onto a lot of what I had from the boys and, in essence, start the next chapter of our life with a little (okay, a LOT) less stuff. Looking back I see how ridiculous some of those thoughts were and am thankful that God is so gracious with me in my often shortsighted view of things. I've realized now more than ever that children are a gift from the Lord and, for many very close to my heart, that gift is very prolonged. We have been blessed with three children, and I take nothing for granted. Not one day. So here is little Eden miss, in all her glory, on her 1st birthday.

I made my delicious maple glaze...again ;)

those balloons flew away at that very moment

eden's first teacup from mama

Heather's Baby Shower

Last year at this time, my brother and sister in law were married and they are soon expecting their first baby. According to the ultrasounds, there is a very good chance it will be a baby girl. Seeing as baby showers are to precede baby arrivals, I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to dote on Heather. Apparently baby showers originated in America, and since I too originated in America, many Irish and Polish friends were excited to come to a true blue American baby shower. no pressure.

My decoration inspiration came from a book I had read on the journey to Ireland, called Little Earthquakes, by Jennifer Weiner. The inspiration didn't, however, come from the content of the book, but the book itself. I had finished it and knew I wouldn't have need for it again so I wondered what I would do to dispose of it. I could take it to the library or a thrift store, or...use it! I decided to use the pages of the book to create paper flowers and bunting. (Sorry, Jennifer. But I did thoroughly enjoy your book!) I began preparations over a month in advance because Noel and Heather went out of town for a week and some of my projects took some time and space (and we live with them.)

Her favorite color is blue, so even though this was technically a baby girl shower, I went with a blue palette. For my first project I needed to collect various shapes and sizes of glass bottles to paint the insides. You'll find the tutorial here. Although the instructions make it seem an easy project, I found it less than simple. It was time consuming to get all the sides of the inside of the bottle covered, then when it came time to use the vases (over a month later) I found that the paint was still wet in some of them! When I inserted some of the stems they made interior scrapes on the paint. womp womp. They were beautiful when I faced them just right though. I did varying colors of light blue then got some white and pink wildflowers from the side of the road [I haven't a clue what they're called.] I love how they turned out with the flowers in them. Note: do not put water in these vases. If you want them to last longer than the day, you can get flower stem holders at your florist.

I saw some chicken wire at a Euro store and thought...if I could only find a frame I could make a great focal point with photos of Noel and Heather as children, now, and ultrasound pictures. Very fortunately, a great friend of mine just happened to be the previous owner of a frame shop and has tons of frames. She gave me my pick and this one was perfect. 

I went a little bunting crazy...and loved it! my dilemma was how to attach the paper to the twine. Gluing took forever, so I decided to sew them all. Then I had the task to put on letters...and it was at this moment I was so excited that I had decided to put my cricut on the crate we had shipped over from Oregon. This made phrasing the bunting a breeze. On the food tables I used words associated with pregnancy (crave, treat yourself, indulge, be good, hydrate) to label the bunting.

Don't worry, there were many more gifts than this...unfortunately I didn't get a picture with all the presents

Heather was very excited for the shower, but was a little worried about too much attention being on her. I assured her that the only time she'd have all eyes on her was during gift opening. To avoid games that focused directly on her, I made a crossword puzzle with questions about Noel and Heather; 'dreams for baby Cammack' questions to fill in; and cards for the ladies to write prayers on for Heather to keep. I also had a Meal Train sign up sheet to bring meals for after the baby is born.

Food

For food items I decided to incorporate some of the things Heather loves...gummies, yogurt and granola with fresh fruit, bagels & cream cheese, and maple donuts. Unfortunately there is no such thing as a [delicious] maple donut in Ireland, so I outsourced plain donuts at a local bakery and made the glaze myself:

1 1/4c. powdered/icing sugar
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1/3-1/2 c. pure maple syrup
dash of whipping cream (optional)

They turned out perfectly and we (Americans) were delighted for a taste of home! The other foods were a variety of chips, rice krispy treats (my mother in law's specialty) and I had my friend Ella instruct me on how to make her delicious apple cake. I labeled some of the items our guests may not recognize, like the strawberry cream cheese (mixture of cream cheese and strawberry jam) and the drinks, which were not only fun to create, but also tasted so refreshing.

I can't wait to meet my sweet niece and Eden is very excited to finally have a girl around to balance out the scales and to one day play dolls and have tea parties. Heather is going to be a fantastic mama and has been waiting all her life to finally hold her very own baby...the day is nearly here. It was so fun to plan and host this shower for my sister in law-I just love her!

Prayer, Petition, Praise and Poppyseed Dressing

Everyone seems to be asking, "what is it you miss from America?" And I don't often have an answer...but there is one thing I miss that I can never get in the grocery store here and, for many of you who know me, it is a favorite of yours too thanks to my ruining for you all other of its kind: Brianna's Poppyseed Dressing. Funniest part? The first time we tasted it was here in Ireland many years ago. Which leads me to believe that one day I will be able to find it again here somewhere. The dressing choices here are: Honey Mustard, Italian (creamy), & Caeser-all tasting much different than you'd hope or think. Out of my desperation, I've attempted a few recipes and have come down to this one that I've adapted as my own. It brings me back to where I once called 'home' and inspires me to hope for what will be my future home. 

On another note...Do you ever find that when something is on your heart it starts leaping off the pages at you? Or maybe I go looking for it. Whatever it is, I've been reading a lot about the Lord granting us the desires of our hearts, knowing full well that He is actually the one who put those desires there in the first place. When I'm delighting in Him and he's the one my heart is set on, then the desires that are bubbling up inside me are a direct result of that affection.  This fact gives me much more confidence in praying for the fruition of these desires. 

                          Psalm 102:5 says that he's the one who satisfies our desires with good things. 

Psalm 20:4 may he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
Matt 6:33  seek his kingdom first and all the needs you have will be met.

Psalm 37:4 delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desire of your heart. 

     Psalm 37:7 it tells me to be still before him and wait patiently. (two very easy words for my to apply in my life. not. And note: Psalm 37 is a.ma.zing & is speaking directly to my life right now.) 

Then, seven more times throughout that chapter it talks about inheriting the land, inheritance, dwelling in the land...so, He knows my desire to have a home and establish in this land, and He sent us here, so according to these scriptures, He is the one who will satisfy it. 

        That's a little snapshot of my present heart ;)

So for you, know this: the dreams and desires in your heart are there for a reason. Do not let go of them. It's important to define what makes you feel most alive and find ways to pursue that. Let your desires be made known to the Father and I'd challenge you to make this your mantra: "I will not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, I'll present my requests to God." (Phil. 4:6) 

The Message says it this way: "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down."

Waiting, Trusting, Believing, Praying...and most importantly, Thanking. Why? Because he cares and wants to know. And because he loves me. Isn't he great?

Creamy Poppyseed Dressing - Yum.
1/2 cup mayonnaise
4 Tbsp. granulated sugar
1 T. sweet white onion, minced (unless you're using a food processor) Green onions can be used also,
just use the white part of the green onion for best texture and color.
2 tsp. apple cider or white vinegar- or a mixture of the two
1/2 tsp. lemon juice
1/2 tsp. ground mustard
1/2 tsp. poppy seeds

In a small bowl or food processor, blend mayo, sugar, onion, vinegars, lemon juice, and ground mustard. When well combined, stir in poppy seeds. Thin with milk or water if desired. I usually double the recipe for my family. enjoy!

my mother's day confession

One of the rules of living in Ireland is that when the sun is shining you drop what you're doing and go outside. So here I sit outside on my laptop with Eogan Heaslip playing and a cuppa in hand. It's a beautiful day and the Vitamin D I've been taking seems to be taking effect-thank God. The climate here is similar to Vancouver, Canada, to give you an idea. Apparently though, Vancouver has us beat by 17 inches a year in rainfall! You poor Vancouverites.

Here in Ireland Mother's Day was this past Sunday, not in May as it is in most other countries. I've been meaning to post about my Mother's Day, but have not been in the right frame of mind to do so until now. Here is what I'd like to say to this day:
          Dear Mother's Day:
     I was thinking that instead of coming predictably at the same time each year, you could choose a different, random day and tell only the husbands/fathers/children so that the mom's would be surprised. That way there is little time for unmet expectations and unrealistic ideals that we, as moms, conjure up in our heads. It would also be a lot easier on the men who, undoubtedly every year and not for lack of trying, end up feeling like they didn't quite measure up. It's our issue, I know, but Mother's Day, if you could help us out that'd be great.
                                                                       Sincerely, a Mother

Wouldn't that be nice? Sure it would. But reality is that I'm a child to my mother, so I would know when the day was coming in order to surprise her. Bummer. Maybe each family could individually choose they're own surprise Mother's Day each year. Probably unrealistic also. So what am I left to do? Change. It's just that simple. On days like Mother's Day, Valentine's Day and my birthday each year, instead of enjoying the day for what it is, I'm reminded of my own failures. Most times I want to blame all those around me, but when it comes down to it, these are my problems and no one else's. Here's my issue: setting unrealistic, unattainable expectations that I fail to communicate. It's like I expect those around me (Ben mostly, poor soul) to read my oh-so-fickle mind at each passing turn and make adjustments accordingly. [the sun went behind the clouds-again. I'm going inside now. boo.] I know this about myself, but it seems that every time I'm faced with the choice of how to respond, I end up choosing the wrong response. So this Mother's Day it happened again and I chose wrong again. I knew it too. I said to myself, "This is a choice. I can leave it and be grateful for what he has done (got the kids up, fed, dressed) and join him for breakfast (yes, my sour attitude happened only two hours after I woke up) or I can stew and breath heavily and close doors a little louder than normal and go seclude myself and make him feel like garbage." Which did I do? You guessed it. The unChristian choice #2.

So we got everyone ready to go to church in silence and were meant to go worship. ha. Isn't it funny how God sets us up? How can I worship with bitterness in my heart? I can't! I guess if I was being hypocritical and worshipping Him in Spirit and lies (instead of truth,) but I wasn't about to do that. There we sat, the kids in between us in what seemed a huge chasm, and we worshipped. God is so tender isn't he? He was gentle with me and helped me see what I already knew: He and Ben both cherish me above rubies, above gold, above riches. I am their prize. They would do anything for me and have already laid their lives down for me. Their hearts toward me are unmatched in affection and love...it's up to me how I will receive it. Will I always be saying, "You're not enough" or will I be humbled and grateful, keeping at the forefront of my mind all they have sacrificed for my happiness? Even as I'm writing I'm reminded of my foolishness in how I treated Ben in my heart and with my actions. For myself, (I'm sure none of you can relate) I found a problem in my idea of Mother's Day this year. I found myself desiring a break from everything: kids, cleaning, cooking- basically everything included in the word 'Mother.' When, in actuality, the truth is this: These are the things that make me Mother. These are the things that give me the ticket to experiencing this wonderful day that someone, at some time, set up to honor Moms. How much more ungrateful could I be? My kids are my joy, my delight-why would I want to escape that? Sunday was a lasting eye opener to my own selfishness and sense of entitlement, Lord forgive me.

For all you moms reading this from America, this gives you approximately two months to prepare your hearts of gratitude for what you are about to receive and experience this Mother's Day. I hope my day of failure can inspire you to love fully, remove expectations, and cherish the moments you have with your family that day. And one more note. Let me just say, that if your kids let you down or your husband forgets to make it a special day-or forgets it's Mother's Day entirely, know this: what you do does not go unnoticed by Father God and he has given your kids to you because he trusts you and knows that you are His best choice to raise and nurture them. Your heart for your kids is His heart and he's grateful for all you do. They are blessed (and so is their dad) to have you as their mama.

please note this was before Ben shaved his mustache. ewwww.

I won't say it was a full day of failure though, because I was able to change my tune by the time church was over and I allowed the Holy Spirit to mold me a little more (hopefully!) After a wonderful lunch with many from the church at a nice restaurant we went home, put all the kids down for naps and Ben and I snuggled on the couch to watch Fried Green Tomatoes. After naps I opened my presents-they were so thoughtful! From Ben I got a set of MAC makeup brushes I'd been hinting at from eBay (which, we later discovered, were knockoffs. ugh.) and from the 'kids', my favorite rice cakes with orange yogurt frosting, a huge chocolate egg, and a decorating magazine I can't wait to look through. Not to mention the unsolicited artwork Titus made for me on his leap pad that morning with a heart and 'mom' written on it. Melt my heart. As I'm writing he said through the window, "I put something super special in the mail for you..." I went to see what it was and he had dropped a tiny daisy through the mail slot on the front door. These are the moments I'm reminded of how much I have been given.

Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Prov. 31:28

the bank house...an unexpected treat

Since we've arrived in Ireland we have visited several cafes and restaurants, as we are in the habit of doing- especially when in a new place. And what we have come to find out is that, most of the time, we are pleasantly surprised. We have also decided that our dream job would be to visit restaurants and do reviews of everything the foodies miss...service, ambiance, style, congruency, decor, comfort, etc. We would talk about the food too, of course, but that would be just a piece of the whole experience.

One of the many benefits of living with people is that-if we're not too exhausted- after we put our kids down for bed, we can leave (if the other two parties in the house are staying, that is. Don't go calling CPS on me here.) Tonight was one of those nights. I put a decaf Barry's tea bag in my jacket pocket, and off we went. Usually we would walk down to a pub, as they are the only places open in the late evenings. But tonight, because it is Friday, a few other places were open-with real live people inside. One of these places is called The Bank House. We had been inside several weeks ago on one of our walks and I fell in love with it instantly. It's your classic historical estate- big rooms, high ceilings, fire places in each room, beautifully decorated. I guess if you pictured an old estate with the room's decor still intact, nicely set tables, and a fire in the fireplace, this would be it. On the weekends they serve tapas and are open later, so we went inside and found that they serve Mexican, yes, I said Mexican food! (the likelihood of finding Mexican food in Ireland is the same as finding a pair of designer jeans at goodwill: exciting!...and unlikely) We will return another time for nachos and a burrito, but tonight we had room in our tummies (and our hearts) for some wings...I had every intention of just going out for tea and maybe a scone or light dessert, but when we saw wings on the menu our hearts started fluttering and we felt weak in the knees. We sat down at a cozy table next to the fire, ordered named wings, and started our cribbage game, when, all of a sudden I realized Ricky Martin's song, 'Bailamos' was playing. Remember how I mentioned congruency earlier? Well, unfortunately, this evening, the Bank House did not score high in that category. I was saying to Ben, "Just imagine what would be going on in our insides if, instead of Ricky Martin and the Latin mix, jazz music or Diana Krall was playing right now?" It would've been aMAzing. oh well. (side note: we've been hearing Mr. Martin's music quite a lot around town, so either he is making a major comeback in Ireland or he just never left. Honestly, it's hilarious the music I hear when sitting down for a meal or grocery shopping. Mostly mid to late 90's pop music...at least I know all the words I guess?)

Anyways, back to our date. The wings were delicious! I was a little apprehensive to try the bleu cheese dip because we'd had a bad experience at a different restaurant in town a few weeks ago (it was warm, watered down, and tasted like a farm. yuck.) But this was so yum. After I schooled Ben at a game of cribbage, I ordered hot water for my tea and a very very tasty chocolate biscuit (Irish for "cookie") cake. Sounds gross, right? that's why I had to take a picture. But the picture turned out horribly, so I borrowed this one.  Ben and I were both delightfully surprised at it's yumminess...the one we ate also had marshmallows- a nice added bliss. As we were sitting there, enjoying our moment, Ben says, "You're in heaven right now," then gestures to my tea, the dessert, and...his mustache. yuck. I told him that until he trims it to match the length of the rest of his beard the only kisses he's getting are from Eden at this point. we can hug and snuggle all he wants but I'm not kissing the stache. no sir.

What an amazingly unexpected date night we had tonight. I love my husband. I love wings. I love tea. And I just found out I really like chocolate biscuit cake. I'm going to sleep a happy lady.
ohhellodatenight

• Jean's Chocolate Biscuit Cake
• 250g (9 oz) milk chocolate
• 100g (1 stick) unsalted butter
• 5 tblsp whipping cream
• 1 tblsp golden syrup
• 400g (14 oz) packet digestive biscuits (or graham crackers)

Break the chocolate into squares and place in a heatproof bowl with the butter. Set over a pan of simmering water and allow to melt. Remove from the heat and mix in the cream and golden syrup-by hand this takes a few minutes. Finely chop the digestive biscuits and fold into the chocolate mixture. Using a white spatula, transfer to a 900ml (1 ½ pints) loaf tin that has been double lined with clingfilm as this makes the cake much easier to lift out. Chill for at least 2 hours or overnight is best; turn out the chocolate biscuit cake on to a platter. Leave at room temperature to set for about 20 minutes before cutting into slices and arranging on plates to serve. 
http://www.rte.ie/lifestyle/food/recipes/2012/0228/3043-jeans-chocolate-biscuit-cake/

Titus' First Day & My First Day

I'm finding that I'm having a hard time with my firstborn going to school for the first time, not only because I don't want him to grow up, but because I don't want him to be hurt. His little heart, although it may seem tough and untouchable, is as tender as a flower growing on the side of the highway. I see how he is affected by rejection or hurtful words and I can't help but want to protect him, shelter him from any possible interaction of that nature. My mommy heart is torn up inside to not be right there in the classroom watching his responses to the teacher's instructions, his ability (or lack thereof) to obey and sit still, the way he might interact with new classmates and them with him, to see if he is accepted and loved-is anyone going to know that he is really good at writing his letters or how much he loves his little sister? Is he going to fit in, or better yet, stand alone with confidence in the fact that he's unique? My heart is thrilled for him to have the chance to be in school and to learn. To make new friends and try new things. To be in a structured environment focused on expanding that little mind of his. I'm excited too, to spend some focused time with Zion in the mornings, to enjoy this small season we have left with him at home. Not to mention, the school is directly in front of our house, so unlike other mommies, I get to watch from a window up above during recess to calm my fears and see just how well he really is adjusting and how much the other kids have welcomed him in.

In contemplating whether or not to homeschool, one of the things I realized is that a homeschooling mom never gets breaks from her kids and I know I need breaks. But now that he's in school I want to march right over there and take him home, never to let him out of my sight for fear of what might happen.

Then I have a reality check: remember Rachel how you fought over what socks he would wear this morning and how his pants are too long but he won't let you roll the top for fear of someone seeing its state. Remember how, when we're home, every other minute he's asking if he can play on electronics or watch a show and that he desperately needed to get out of the house and into a place that would challenge him and give his mornings more purpose than I was giving him- a place called school. This is the truth of the matter. The other truth? I can't always protect him, nor do I want a 25 year old still living in my house because he has no social skills and is still breastfeeding because his mommy couldn't let go. No, this is not the life I want for him or for me.

It's just the first day of school and I'm dying inside, that's all. God is his true caretaker, most days I just think I am. He will guard and protect my baby. And on the off chance that Titus' heart gets wounded, God is the one who will heal it, not me. My job is to bring him to Jesus and to love on him and protect him as much as is in my ability to do so. And I will. Only 35 minutes until he's home. I've almost made it through my Titus' first day of school. I think this calls for a reward. Pavlova and a cup of tea sounds perfect.

Tell me about your baby's first day and what your heart was going through...

I'm starting a blog.

Here I am. New country, three kids and a husband in tow. I've wanted for a long time to have a place to share my thoughts, even if to no one in particular. A place to let it all hang out and speak-whether it be from the depths or from the shallowest parts of me. I'm hoping this can be a place of inspiration and maybe a few "oh, I'm not the only one!" moments. enjoy, and thanks for being here.